Skywalk Fun-- Walk With Me; It's a Freak Show Up There
Almost every Monday through Friday, for the last three years, I have traveled Duluth's skywalk system from the public library on 5th Ave. West to the corner of Lake Ave. and Superior Street. Passing through those long hallways above the sidewalks keeps you out of the cold in the deep winter out of the heat on hot August afternoons. And it's quicker and safer than crossing traffic.
Apparently, the skywalk system also presents the best place for an unrelenting FREAKSHOW. Street drunks, psychopaths, paint huffers, lawyers and realtors with afternoon drinking problems, and elderly women playing scratch-offs like they're at Circus Circus...It's all up there for you in the skywalk. You'd think witnessing truly weird events everyday for three years would start to wear down a man mentally and spiritually. But not me, my punker brothers and sisters. No, I've embraced it as part of an extended family. And I now ask you to walk with me down these strange halls as I present my favorite moments of the freakshow known as the Duluth Skywalk System.
Hey! Look over there by the stairs next to Blue Cross offices on 4th Ave. West. It's two street drunks trying to stay out of the bitter cold by riding the handicap elevator all day. That elevator goes up and down exactly one full floor. You could potentially go from the first floor to the second floor and back again forty times an hour. That's 560 times in the 14 hours the skywalk is open. And look what else they're doing. They're drinking cans of Wild Cat Ice and urinating in the corner. Did hear them ask you for change? You didn't? Oh, you will, trust me, you will. And do you know what else I saw about two months ago? I saw one of them dry humping a slightly retarded girl in that same elevator. Yeah, I really did. Then I had nightmares for the next six weeks and dry heaves every time I passed this area. Neat-o.
What else do we have here today in the skywalk. Well, well, well, if it isn't the long line at the sandwich shop at lunch hour. Seems innocent enough, doesn't it? No, wait, wait. Something's about to happen. Yep, a schizophrenic lady is about to have an entertaining episode. Yippee. You're going have to stay here with me and watch this one. Hey, she's emptying her bag filled with empty plastic bags on the floor. Oops. What's that she's doing now? Oh, I see. She thinks other women in line are whispering about her. This won't turn out good. Wow! Schizophrenic lady is now screaming at the top of her lungs accusing the other women in line of being whores and filthy cock craving sluts! I couldn't agree with her any more. Uh-oh, someone called security; she had better pick up her empty bags and move along. That was fun. Let's keep walking.
Our walk continues two weeks from now in the Transistor...
